How to live life out loud
have a heart full of eleven
braces and pigtails
tree houses and cartwheels
but ovaries closed shop
breasts slump
skin no longer full of want
(but wanting the wanting)
where are the twelve Hail Mary’s
to get out of jail free
take, eat
the narcotic holiness of pills

Outdated maps guide my life
like light from burnt out stars
at night, I read bedtime stories
            In the great green room
            The night Max wore his wolf suit
I need a psychic or an MRI or a direct line to god
there must be laws
there must be rules
to guide us like a GPS
the hip bone connected to the thigh bone
or is it like the square root of 33
an answer that never ends
can we set the karmic clock to zero
and play hopscotch in the street before
we are wheeled down the hall
under a stark and stiff white sheet